Episode 1/Chapter 5: What, If Our Dreams Come True! An Uncommon Meeting with Lord Siva

Chapter 5

Every now and then, the thoughts about the sadhu distracted me. Sometimes I felt haunted, other times troubled and often curious. One morning, I decided to take the plunge. ‘Why not I dare the sadhu and question him?’

I trekked to Chithira Sabhai. Not finding him there, I decided to while away my time and wait for him. The entire afternoon passed and he was not in sight. I waited till the evening and darkness was setting in. Depressed, I decided to get back.

I was hungry as I had not eaten anything during the day. Nothing was available to eat. I was now used to very flexible eating habits and was quite accustomed to starving. Many people observed fasting on a number of days for religious reasons and on those days, even I had to observe fasting out of compulsion. So, eating or not eating anything on a particular day didn’t make any significant difference to me. I decided to ignore my hunger and take a small walk on the narrow road leading to the Five Falls. There was a small diversion on the left leading to Chitraruvi (The Small Falls) located at an elevation and then further to Shenbagadevi Falls and Thenaruvi (Honey Falls). People walked to these waterfalls in groups, especially on Full Moon days to worship Goddess Shenbagadevi. The hill side was known for the fragrance of its shenbaga flowers and hence the name for the waterfalls. I ignored the diversion and walked ahead towards Five Falls. The hillock on my left was covered by dense forest and on my right, the land was sloping down, covered by coconut groves and standing paddy crops. Not many braved to live near the hillside unless they could be friendly with wild animals.

On my way, in the dark corners of the hills, I saw someone in saffron clothing moving behind a cluster of dense trees, at the far end. Out of curiosity, I sidestepped the road, wanting to go after him and doubled up my strides. I was sure it must be the same sadhu.

The sadhu moved swiftly into the hills and the nearby woods. He was at one place one time, disappeared mysteriously, only to reappear in another dark corner. ‘How is he able to do that?’ I wondered. I was no match for him for his speed, but I kept following him. It was darker now and I had considerable difficulty in keeping pace with him. The slopes, the bushes, the small rocks and stones were tough on me. I slipped in many places bruising myself in the process. The sadhu went deeper and deeper into the woods and I lost track of him. After some time, I got exhausted and gave up.

I was in the center of the woods and darkness. I was nervous and scared as I struggled to find my way back.

*****

I made enquiries about the sadhu in the neighborhood, but none seemed to know much about him personally. Many believed that he had extraordinary mystical powers and had performed miracles in the lives of many people – some were cured of diseases, some got rid of financial problems, some had children, some got married and so on. The same story about him again.

‘He ought to be a Siddha,’ someone told me. I had already learnt that Siddhas were there everywhere in the entire range of Podhigai hills and that they were mystics, seemingly living for ever, – may be hundreds of years -  possessing extraordinary powers, and presenting themselves at different places at the same time. Many were revered a lot and many were feared. People advised me to be cautious and be wary of the dangerous Sadhus.

My curiosity heightened and I was now determined to confront him.  ‘Why was he avoiding me, when he was the one wanting me to meet him at Chithira Sabhai?” I needed to get some answers.

Somehow, my next several attempts to meet with him at Chithira Sabhai failed, as though he planned it that way.

‘Is he punishing me for not waiting for him to open his eyes when I first sighted him inside Chithra Sabhai?’

On some occasions I thought I spotted him and with the resolution I followed him into the woods. But he always seemed to have a knack of disappearing mysteriously from my sight into darkness. Besides, I was also scared of the woods, hills, and darkness and I couldn’t stretch myself beyond a point.

Six months passed by and the sadhu was still elusive to me, as he continued to play ‘hide and seek’ with me.

My life became more a routine now. A school offered me a part time job to teach small children and I gladly accepted the assignment. It improved my cash flow.

*****

Episode 1/Chapter 4: What, If our Dreams Come True! An Uncommon Meeting with Lord Siva

Chapter 4

One day, I finally managed to gather all my guts and began climbing the small steps from Kutralanadhar temple leading to Chithira Sabhai. I crossed the rough road leading to the Five Falls and entered the small passage that led to Chithra Sabhai. I stood at the entrance below a tall stone ceiling. I had a breathtaking view of the Courtallam hills on one side, clouds kissing the hill tops. The place was deserted. There was an elegant temple tank with steep steps leading to the pond of water in front of Chithra Sabai. A small, elegant stone mandap decorated the center of the tank. I wondered if the waterfall in the region fed the pond here too. I got down the steps until my knees were immersed in water. The water was cold and the chillness pierced all the way to my bones. A shoal of fishes immediately flocked to my feet to nibble away all the dirt. I felt very sorry that I didn’t bring any food for those fishes. Scattered lotus leaves with flowers, floating over the waters, presented a rich design to the landscape.  

I was in no mood to go into Chithra Sabhai immediately and so I just sat there, in the scintillating ambience, with my feet still dipped in the water in the pond.

Abruptly my mood changed, as though some new energy had suddenly entered me. I quickly climbed the steps and entered the front hall of Chitra Sabhai. There was a small closed mandap on one side and a few empty palanquins used to carry ‘Utsav Moorthy’s were stored on the other side. In all the temples of South India, there were two idols – one called Moolavar who sits inside the sanctum Sanctorum and never removed from his seat and the other called Utsavar who was taken out on palanquins on important occasions in a procession through the four streets, called ‘ratha veedhi’, around the temple. Two life sized wall paintings of some heavenly beings welcomed the visitors. The paintings were fading at a few places and requiring restoration. Once I crossed the hall at the entrance, I was in the next corridor. There was another small, covered hall that led to the main ‘Chithra Sabhai.’ A large open corridor surrounded the Chithra Sabhai that enabled people to circumambulate.

I crossed over the hall and entered Chithra Sabhai. The hall inside was dimly lit. There were several paintings all over the four walls, inside and outside. To my right was the painting of a magnificent picture of Lord Nataraja, that seemed to engulf the whole hall. This mural painting, I had learned, was painted more than a thousand years ago. People were not allowed to touch the painting or do pooja in front of the painting, to avoid damage to the paintings. The herbal paints that  were used to make these pictures still remain heretic and were known only to a select few. I stood oblivious to anything other than the mural painting of Lord Nataraja, which captured all my attention. It looked as though Lord Siva in the mural painting was dancing everywhere in the hall. I thanked Lord Siva for bringing me to Courtallam.

Quite abruptly, my attention turned away from Lord Nataraja and I saw the sadhu sitting and meditating in a lotus posture with closed eyes. There was no one else other than the sadhu and the place was eerily silent. Behind the sadhu, the picture of the compassionate Nataraja now appeared frightening to me. I felt an aura surrounding the sadhu drawing me closer to him and that frightened me more.

‘Shall I run from here?’ a thought flashed. But then, the sadhu briefly opened his eyes, as though he knew about my arrival, stared at me to acknowledge my presence and then closed his eyes again, never to open it for a long time. His brief look seemed to exert irresistible influence on me and I felt drawn to him, even while I was terribly scared inside. Silently I approached him, sat in front and closed my eyes. As I sat, I felt the strong vibrations all over the place and my body began to tremble. Was it fear or something else? I couldn’t be sure.

Suddenly I was restless and I opened my eyes. I felt frustrated having waited long for him to open his eyes.

‘What kind of man is he? He calls me here, knows that I am here, but refuses to open his eyes and tell me why he wanted me here.’

I rushed out of Chithra Sabhai and looked around from the small hillock. I was back on earth. The picturesque view of the far end of the village and the surroundings was before me and I marveled at the beauty of the place. The white clouds kissing the mountain tops and the rising cloud of drops of water from the splashing waterfalls lifted me to a ‘Higher World’. It was quiet everywhere. I quickly got back to whatever I was doing in the village.

Days and weeks passed by. I had nothing specific to do at Courtallam. I visited every waterfall – chitraruvi (small falls), five falls, tiger falls and the falls at Old Courtallam. I frequented nearby villages scattered across the muddy banks of paddy fields, trod on narrow raised bunds over the lakes, hitchhiked in bullock carts to Shencottai, whiled away my time in the nearby hills, visited the street side temples in a number of agraharams, joined the bhajan groups engaged in devotional singing at several places, ate delicious food from the choultries and slept most of the time under the shades of some banyan trees that were seen everywhere around the region. Survival was never an issue. Those days, many philanthropic people owned and ran small choultries, (otherwise called chattirams) and fed the poor. Annadhanam or feeding the poor was considered to be a virtuous act liberating one from the ill effects of one’s wrongful doings and thus providing a pathway to Heaven.

I couldn’t decide about moving away from Courtallam. There was a growing urge in me to meet that sadhu again. So I went back to the place where the regular congregation took place under a banyan tree. He was there and I made no specific moves to get in touch with him. I stayed there quietly as part of the larger crowd for some time and left.

Something strange and mysterious was drawing me to him. I didn’t know what it was.

I was a matriculate and one of the brightest students in the school when studying, but nothing happened within my brain to change my mundane routine. Life was smooth otherwise. Why should I attempt to do anything at all, I wondered?

*****

Episode 1/Chapter 3: What, If Our Dreams Come True! An Uncommon Meeting with Lord Siva

Chapter 3

During the next several days, I felt as though that sadhu was trailing me everywhere. Every time he passed me at various places, he reminded me, with the same stern look, to meet him at Chithira Sabhai. ‘Why are you ignoring me?’ he seemed to be asking me.

Somehow, I was not sure whether I should go to Chithira Sabhai.

The sadhu had bulging eyes, bore a menacing look and appeared to be in a trance all the time.  I was scared of him; but I was also apprehensive of leaving Courtallam. The voice in the temple had already stopped me from leaving Courtallam. For how long do I need to stay on here? I knew no one in the town and could consult none. The one rupee coin that I had when I reached this place was still there safely in my pocket. I idled my days and avoided going to Chithira Sabhai.

I learnt subsequently that Chithira Sabhai (Hall of Artistic Work and Painting) was one of the five important abodes of Lord Nataraja – The Lord of Dancing or the Cosmic Dancer, the dancing form of Lord Siva; the other abodes were Kanaga Sabhai (Hall of Gold) at Chidambaram, Rajatha Sabhai (Hall of Silver) at Madurai, Tamira Sabhai (Hall of Copper) at Tirunelveli and Rathna Sabhai (Hall of Ruby) at Tiruvalangadu.                                                       

 I also learnt that the cosmic dance was known as Dance of Bliss – Anandha Thandavam. Lord Siva performs five most important functions – creation, protection, destruction, embodiment and saving with grace - to keep the world alive and Lord Nataraja’s cosmic dance pose represents all these functions.

The hourglass shaped drum held by the Lord in his upper right hand represents ‘creation’; the second right hand gesture symbolizes ‘protection’; the fire held in the upper left hand represents ‘destruction’; the second left hand points towards raised foot signifies liberation from successive birth; the foot planted on the earth represents Lord’s ‘embodiment’ function; and finally the foot held aloft also symbolizes the ‘grace’. The dwarf demon lies at the bottom of the planted foot signifies ignorance. The flames surrounding the lord represent the universe. The snake found around the Lord’s waist signifies the yogic energy (kundalini or prana-sakthi). The cosmic dance form of Lord Nataraja represents the continuous cycle of creation, protection, destruction, embodiment and liberation of the soul from successive births. Lord Nataraja dances with his consort Devi Sivakami. The annual dance festival takes place in these five important places on the day marked for Aarudra Star during the Tamil Margazhi month.

People also told me that Chithira Sabhai is a beautiful small temple above a small hillock nearby Kutralanadar temple and one got a better view of the temple, the waterfalls and the surroundings from the higher elevation there.  Everyone I met, encouraged me to visit the place.

*****

Episode 1/Chapter 2 What, If our Dreams Come True! An Uncommon Meeting with Lord Siva

Chapter 2

Next morning, I began my trek once again and reached Courtallam before mid-afternoon. God had blessed Courtallam with a number of waterfalls. The water from monsoon rains in Kerala on the other side of the Western Ghats provided a steady supply of water to the falls. Courtallam is one of the very few places in India where people can find waterfalls to take bath at ground levels. I went straight to the main waterfalls. I saw many people massaging their head and body liberally with ‘gingili’ oil, before they had their bath. The crowd was not much. I went straight and stood under the mighty waterfall for a long time. The water was quite cold and I shivered. I folded my hands in reverence in the cool waters and prayed. Suddenly I felt lost for some time. After the bath, I felt invigorated.

The Kutralanathar temple was just at the foot of the hills close to the waterfalls and was closed after the midmorning offerings to Lord Siva. I had to wait till four in the evening to have my first meeting with HIM.

Suddenly, I found a small crowd of people rushing somewhere and, on inquiry, I learnt that annadhan was taking place in a nearby hall. Offering food to the poor (annadhan) was practiced by many, either as part of their way to salvation or as reparation for their sins. Feeling rather fortunate, I helped myself generously with the delicious meal.

After a small nap in the temple corridor, I was ready to meet the Lord, when the main gates of the temple opened for the evening. I went straight to Siva. I was in no mood to look at or appreciate the temple architecture. There was hardly any soul inside the temple. The priest had not arrived yet. Everything was still and quiet. The air was thick, humid, and smelled pungent. Barring a few oil lamps shimmering in front of the idols, the temple was mostly dark.

I closed my eyes and stood silently before the Lord.

“I have never travelled outside my small village, but YOU have brought me here. I am now before you now, as you wanted. This is the first leg of my seven meetings with you, as you ordained. What next?”

It didn’t even occur to me that I should thank Lord Siva for what he did for me. He healed me miraculously from my pain. I was too immature to not realize the magnitude of my mystical experience. After all, I thought it was just a dream. But how was I healed instantly? It was a reality. I continued to ponder over the question without any answer. The astrologer had told me, “God has a strange and miraculous ways of saving His devotees.” That must be true. 

‘Was I a devotee?’ I wasn’t sure. But, HE also left me as an orphan. Why did he do that? What was my mistake?

I stayed before HIM standing and closing my eyes for a long time. Thoughts were pouring out, waves after waves. Suddenly I opened my eyes and I saw hazily a Sadhu entering the sanctum Sanctorum. I continued to stand there for no reason. After some time passed, the Sadhu turned around, came out of the sanctum Sanctorum and seemed to be approaching me, his eyes fixed on me. I recollected immediately that he was the same sadhu whom I had seen the previous evening in the congregation under the banyan tree on my way to Shencottai. As he passed by my side, he looked straight into my eyes for a moment.  His look was penetrating and it blinded me for a moment. He didn’t stop by me, but I heard him, saying, ‘Meet me at Chithra Sabhai’ as he passed by.

I was puzzled. ‘Did I hear him right?’ But he had gone and disappeared.

I continued to stand there as though my feet were clamped to the ground; I felt stuck. I had no inclination to move too.

When some more time passed, I was confused and I decided to get out.

When I took the first heavy step, I heard the sudden sound of a thunder inside the rock solid temple and along with the sound of the thunder, came the voice, ‘No, you can’t go!’

Where did the voice  come from? Was it my own imagination? Was I hallucinating?

Suddenly I felt very weak. My knees caved in. My whole body buckled and everything blacked out for me. I felt I was sinking and lost all consciousness, even as I collapsed to the floor

I would never know how much time passed by and I opened my eyes when someone sprinkled water on my face. I saw a temple priest and he was trying to gently lift me up. He gave me some water to drink and some energy returned to me. When I felt better, I told the priest about the thunder and the celestial voice I heard.

The priest hesitated for a moment and then said, ‘Strange are HIS powers! Who knows, maybe Lord Kutralanathar want you to be here for some more time? Are you planning to go somewhere else, my dear son?”

I briefly told him my story - about the acute stomach pain I had, about my dream where Lord Siva appeared and offered to cure me on the condition that I met with him in seven of his places. I told him that Courtallam was my first destination and that I was planning to visit other places of Lord Siva. I also told him about the sadhu who ordered me to meet him in Chithra Sabhai.

The priest looked bewildered, but soon recovered his composure. He then gently told me, “You seem to be an innocent village boy. What do I tell you about Lord Siva appearing in your dreams? Strange are the ways, things happen on earth. Hearing thunder inside the temple was bizarre and incredible. The sky is very clear outside. There is no possibility of a thunder or lightning. I suggest you don’t unnecessarily tell anyone outside, about your experiences. They will think you are out of your mind. But, if that was what happened to you really, ……. Why don’t you stay here in Courtallam for some more time and see what happens? This is a lovely place. But be careful with sadhus. I am born and brought up here. I have also heard lot of stories about sadhus. There had been unique sadhus here in the past in this place and elsewhere. Courtallam is known for ‘Siddhars’ who had siddhic (mystical) powers. There is historical proof that many siddhas had mystical powers. Sage Agasthya was known to have lived in this place Courtallam and sanctified the whole hill. He had also written several books, and many of them were medical books. There are fakes too. One needs to be careful with the sadhus.”

With that, not wanting to have to do anything more with me, he abruptly turned back and went inside the temple to tend to his work.

I circumambulated along the inner and the outer walls of the sanctum Sanctorum of the temple. I had a dozen of the kurumpala tree, the sacred jackfruit tree of the temple. On the back side, there was a corner and there, over the tall temple walls, I could see the waterfalls rolling down the rocks and hear its roaring sound.

I came out of the temple. ‘I need to know where Chithra Sabhai is’, I said to myself.

The sky was bright and clear outside, with no sight of any cloud. ‘Where did that thunder come from?’

*****